The Deliverance or Cowardice of Ninjas in Love
by Whatsername9890
Summary: AU-ish. Overwhelmingly yaoi. Some het, some yuri. Two years after Sasuke joined Orochimaru, Konoha is left in shambles, overwhelmed by hopelessness. Naruto/Sasuke, Kakashi/Iruka, Gaara/Lee/Neji, Orochimaru/Kabuto, Ino/Sakura, Shikamaru/Kiba, others


A/N: Thank you for reading! I appreciate any reviews or feedback, anything to help me improve with further chapters, aka constructive criticism. Love is also appreciated, as are cookies.

WARNING: This story is full to bursting with yaoi and other such 'unsavory' behaviors. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read. This chapter is pretty harmless aside from mild cussing, but you can look forward to plentiful fruits such as limes and lemons, and also violence, non-con, etc. in the (distant) future.

ALSO: I'm not claiming that Naruto belongs to me. Because it doesn't. Obviously.

Chapter I, in which everyone misses emo-Sasuke who is emo, Gaara lusts after violence, Lee is cute, and everyone tries to figure out what's going on.

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Uzumaki Naruto had just finished his ramen, making sure to lick all ramen flavor out of the bowl, when he was surprised by a blur of pink as Sakura sat down on a stool adjacent to him. He rolled his eyes, turning towards her. She smiled at him, but it looked strained and her eye began twitching as it did when she was trying to hold back her anger. She'd grown her hair out again and it was pulled back at the nape of her neck, making her look somewhat mature. Naruto felt no attraction to the girl he'd been so in love with in his early years. He blinked at her, wondering what all this was about. She squinted, attempting a glare as her lips turned down, forming a somewhat pathetic pouting face. He was surprised because ever since Sasuke left, Sakura barely ever bugged him. Neither of them had taken it well and they tended to avoid each other, mostly out of distaste for painful memories of earlier times. And there was the empty void that existed whenever they were together: that third piece of the puzzle that was missing always tugged on them like some sort of extra gravity. Knowing the whereabouts of the black-haired boy was the worst part. Naruto shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts out.

"Naruto. Hey, Naruto!" Sakura knocked on his head, causing him to blink and look up at her. "Earth to Naruto! You were supposed to meet me for training an hour ago, idiot!"

"Ah, Sakura, don't give yourself an ulcer, I just lost track of time." Naruto looked at his empty ramen bowl, then at the pink-haired girl, and then back to the bowl. He stood up, hands in pockets. "Hey, could you take care of this? I forgot my money at home. Thanks, Sakura, you're a pal. I'll meet you at our usual spot," And he was gone.

Sakura watched angrily as the Nine-Tailed Fox boy ran, disappearing without a trace. "Naruto, you fucker, I'm not paying for your goddamn lunch! Get the fuck back here you fucking…" She began to follow him

"Hey, lady, someone has to pay for these noodles."

Sakura was stopped in her tracks. She sighed, raising a hand to her temple, though it would be no use in fighting off the migraine she was sure to be getting. "Fine, here you go." she looked at the bill, fished some coins out of her bag, handed them to the cashier. "That little shit is paying me back right away," she mumbled to herself as she left the noodle stand and stalked after her training partner.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Gaara stopped walking. He turned his head slowly towards a nearby tree, listening for an out of place sound. Someone was following him. To be precise, three someones, and he was sick of listening to their harsh breathing and hasty footsteps. He closed his eyes, imagining their blood mixing with sand, their lives torn away from them with a single flick of his wrist. His hand quivered. His licked his lips, the corners lifting in a demented sort of smirk, his dark eyes widening.

"If you are going to attack me, please get it over with now. I'm tired of listening to you loud pigs following me."

One leaf nin circled around behind Gaara, concealing himself behind a fern, and the other two leapt down from the tree. Gaara thought to himself that the Leaf Village was certainly lowering its Anbu standards, and he suspected it was because of a shortage of ninjas.

The taller Anbu removed his mask (as a peace offering, Gaara supposed) and took a step forward. "Gaara-san of the Sand Village, I am Kakizaki Sobe, and this is Kakizaki Lin." He motioned to his brother behind him. "We aren't here to start trouble. We've only been sent to intercept you on your way to Konoha and find out the reason you're here."

"Then why, _Kakizaki-san_," he spit out the name, "is Kakizaki what's-his-face number three hiding behind me, ready for attack?"

Sobe's eyes narrowed. His teeth clenched. The infamous Gaara was even more perceptive than he'd originally thought. Him and his two brothers were treading on thin ice. Any wrong move and they'd be done. Lin behind him was almost hyperventilating. He longed to calm his brother. But the task before him was of the utmost importance. Hilde, the strongest of the three, was hiding behind, only to come out an emergency. Gaara could _not_ know that they had backup. It was the central part of their plan, meant for their safety in case something went wrong. And it was going wrong alright. "Gaara-san, Lin and I are the two who were sent to find you, there is no one else."

Sand, pooling around Gaara's feet, began to bubble as though it was a pot of water boiling. His fists clenched, eyes merely slits, piercing Sobe as if they could see into his heart. And then Sobe knew he'd given the wrong answer.

"Liar!" The red-haired demon yelled, the air around him heating, sand slicing through the air, cutting Sobe's arms and face.

Sobe, all attention focused on the boy in front of him, almost didn't hear the horrible squelching sound, followed by a splatter. In his peripheral vision he saw Lin fall to his knees, clutching his chest, breaths heaving. "Hilde," Lin choked out, the word muffled by his mask. Hesitantly, Sobe looked behind Gaara, to the place where his other brother had been.

He didn't have time to digest the image of his murdered brother, or to even pull a shuriken out of his leg pouch.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Maito Gai shivered, closing his eyes as nimble fingers untied the Konoha headband situated around his middle. He stared at the ceiling, embarrassed, and only once did he look down to catch a glimpse of the silver locks that jutted out in all directions, brushing across his navel as lips traced their way southward, to his thighs. The headband was finally untied, and discarded. He groaned, hands reaching out and entangling themselves into his lover's hair.

"_How the fuck does this thing come off?" The lips mumbled against his thigh, hands pulling at Gai's green leotard. _

"_I…I think there's a zipper…oh god…somewhere," It was hard for him to concentrate on his costume when Hatake Kakashi was doing _**that** _and putting his hands _**there**.

"How is it that you don't even know how your own outfit comes off?" Kakashi said in that sarcastic tone of his.

"I don't…ah…t-take it off…" He was at a loss for words as the silver-haired nin climbed up his body, hands roaming his chest and back (looking for the zipper, Gai supposed). "I don't take it off very much." Gai finally finished.

"Gai-sensei." Gai closed his eyes. He felt a prodding on his shoulder.

"Mmm. No, I'm not your sensei. We're rivals, remember. No, stop poking, go back to what you were doing before…"

"GAI-SENSEI!" Rock Lee shouted, continuing to prod his sleeping teacher in the shoulder. "Wake up! Stop talking in your sleep!"

Gai's eye's opened, and he sat up with a start. "Oh!" He looked around, taking a moment to get oriented with his surroundings.

"Gai-sensei, you've been asleep, you've been saying weird things! That must have been some dream."

"Oh. Ahem. I was dreaming about…frogs. Yes, frogs, that's what I was dreaming about." He nodded with finality, as if the matter was closed with no need for further discussion. "Get out of my room, boy, why are you in here in the first place?"

Lee raised an eyebrow. "And you said 'oh dear lord, Kakashi, don't use your sharingan like that' to the frogs?"

Gai's eyes narrowed. He raised his head, looking down past his nose at the young ninja. "Yes. Yes I did." There was an awkward moment of silence. Gai tried to be inconspicuous as he lifted the covers over his crotch area, which happened to be in an embarrassing state of being at the time. Lee blinked.

"How long were you in here for, anyway?! Can't a guy get some privacy to...nap… around here?"

Lee folded his arms across his chest, looking very uncomfortable. "Gai-sensei," he whined, "you told me to come and wake you at seven o'clock. You said there was something very urgent you had to be up for. So I came but it took me a while to unlock your door." Gai nodded in agreement, suddenly remembering having said that. "You really do talk in your sleep a lot, though. You should get that checked out. It could be…embarrassing."

"Thank you for waking me up, Lee, you can leave now. I need to go take a cold shower."

"Yes, Gai-sensei," Lee said and left as quickly as possible.

Maito Gai leaned back onto his pillow, covering his face in his hands. "Damn, that was embarrassing," he mumbled against his palms. He closed his eyes, and in his mind's eye saw the silver-haired Jounin untying his headband again. His face burned; he shuddered. "God, Kakashi, why do you have to be so sexy?!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Lady Tsunade, they're here."

Tsunade nodded. The doors to her office creaked open, and four of Konoha's strongest Jounin entered. "Take a seat, boys," she offered, plastering on a smile. "And lady. Of course."

Kakashi pulled up a chair, leaning forward and resting his elbows on Tsunade's unusually messy and unorganized desk. Asuma and Kurenai took the two chairs opposite Tsunade at the desk. Iruka looked to the couch. It was buried under mounds of papers, scrolls, books and what seemed to be empty lunch boxes. He leaned against the wall behind Kakashi, folding his arms against his chest.

Kakashi rubbed his eye, stifling a yawn. Masks did come in handy once in a while. He almost cursed the 5th for forcing him to wake up so early on his _one_ day off. But he was sure she had a good reason.

"Asuma. Kurenai. Iruka. Kakashi." Tsunade's smile vanished. Her eye twitched. "Where is Gai? Who's seen him?"

Iruka shrugged. He never really had much to do with the strange man and had no idea where he spent his free time.

"Haven't seen him," Asuma added, before taking a drag on his cigarette. He turned to Kurenai, who shook her head.

The 5th Hokage took a deep breath. Her grip tightened on the pen she was holding, and it snapped under the pressure. Kakashi snorted. She stared at the four Jounin, willing one of them to spill some information, but they just stared back. "So no one knows where Gai is? I'm sure I told him to meet us! Where the hell is that man?" Her nails, having destroyed the pencil, dug into her desk, scratching against the wood.

"Agh. Ow." Everyone turned their attention to Kakashi. "Uhm. That scratching sound…it sort of bothers my ears." He was given by Tsunade the sort of glare Naruto would use when denied ramen. Not something you wanted to mess with. "Hehe…sorry. Continue."

She smiled in a satisfied way and scratched at the wood even harder, leaving long parallel marks.

Kakashi straightened in her chair. "Oh, for the love of-"

Always one for making a grand entrance, Lady Tsunade's double set of doors was kicked in and most likely broken beyond repair as Maito Gai entered the room, foot extended, smashing his way past Kurenai and almost running into the desk. He stopped himself just short of bowling over it head first. "I'm so sorry, Lady Tsunade, I slept too late and well Lee had to wake me up and, oh the summers of youth! Lee was late, probably out past his bedtime the night before gallivanting after the young ladies and so as you can see, that did not leave me with much time to get ready. Oh, your doors! I do apologize from the bottom of my heart! I was so worried about being late!"

"Ah, u-uhm," Tsunade mumbled, somewhat taken aback by the ninja's abrupt entrance.

"But do not worry, Lady Tsunade!" Gai continued. "I will fix those doors! And a ninja never goes back on his word!" He smiled, teeth flashing, legs spread in a proud stance, during which Tsunade saw more of Maito through his green leotard than she ever wanted to see.

"O-okay, Gai, just take a seat, please, and we'll get started. There's something I'd like to discuss."

"I'll just stand!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Idiot," he muttered under his breath.

"Alright, Gai." The 5th took on a serious tone. "But down to business. I realize you are all tired of going on dozens of missions that seem pointless when there's work to be done in Konoha. But I've already explained that we have to keep up appearances. If we don't assist other nations, the Fire Nation, known as a pillar of strength throughout the lands, will fall, and we could become involved in another war, one that we would _not_ win because of our lack of defenses." She paused as a young girl, her assistant, entered the room. She handed steaming cups to all of the ninja, and made a quick exit. Tsunade took a sip, looking down at the creamy liquid. It swirled in the cup, translucent white with dark brown beneath the foam. As she swallowed she felt the warmth flow down her throat, calming her instantaneously as it went into her system. Gai downed his own mug in two swallows, making an 'Mmm' sound of contentment after. Tsunade continued. "With Iruka and all of the other teachers away on missions, young ninjas in training and genin haven't been given the education they deserve. Genin who weren't ready for the real world were sent on difficult missions subsequent to Orochimaru's attack on Konoha. It's been two years since then, and it's becoming apparent that we've been unknowningly lowering our standards for ninjas in order to crank out warriors to help us keep up our village's image. It's cost us many lives, as all of you are aware of. Does anyone here disagree with my statements?"

Iruka lifted his head. He unfolded his arms and came to stand behind Kakashi's chair, resting his hands on the back of it. "No, I for one agree with what you are saying." He looked around the room, eyes filled with concern. "I've noticed that, too. Education has always been my main concern, even during these two years of missions I've been assigned to. Our standards have drastically fallen, kids aren't being taught everything and the process has been sped up so, like you said, we can get more ninjas on the field. And not only that, but Orochimaru's attack and rise to power has brought fear to the people of Konoha. Not many want to become ninjas anymore. Their parents are either dead or afraid to lose their children as so many have already been. Konoha has somehow lost its bravery."

"These are dark times," Asuma added. He ground a finished cigarette onto his hand, without so much as a flinch, and threw it into the trash. "I think Konoha is losing the battle for power. We'll perish if Orochimaru becomes stronger."

Kurenai's hand reached out to grasp the smoker's arm. She lowered her gaze to her lap. "That's true, Asuma, but there's still hope. We still have some of the strongest ninja in the world, two of the legendary three. If we change how we're going about this we can still prevail. Lady Tsunade, you have to see that it's not hopeless!" She stood up abruptly, hands landing on the desk with a loud, hollow thump. "There's still so much we can do! Tsunade!"

"Ah, Kurenai, calm down. I never said that we were doomed to failure."

Kurenai sat down, blushing. "Sorry, Lady." Asuma shot a sideways glance at her.

"That's alright. I know you're concerned. It's perfectly okay to be. But I didn't bring my five smartest ninja to a meeting without the whole council to sit here and state the obvious all morning."

Gai finally spoke. "So what's the plan for all of this, Lady?" He stood straight as a rod behind Kurenai and Asuma, as if he were at attention. All humor had left his eyes.

"Well," Tsunade began. Five sets of eyes watched her, all accept one of the eyes, which stared into blankness behind a mask. She cleared her throat, eyed the flowers on her desk that had been sent by an apprentice medical ninja. Yellow roses. Friendship. She could not recall the face of the one who'd given them to her. They did not brighten up the room as she supposed they were meant to do. They only added to her misery. How were these flowers allowed to be so cheery when inside her she felt dread and darkness. "I have no idea what to do about this." The Fifth Hokage pulled a yellow rose out of the tastefully decorated vase covered in orange and yellow swirls of what was meant to be chakra, given as a gift to match the flowers. But the flowers, she knew, would be dead soon, and the vase would be left without anything to hold save for the decaying remains of the plants. "No idea," she whispered, crushing the small golden flower between her powerful fingers.

/END

TBC!!!!!!!!


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